Art For Wine's Sake
One of the deadliest of all rituals is the art gallery opening. It's like a theatre premiere where the actors are all onstage speaking their lines and going through the motions while the audience mingles in the aisles chattering about how wonderful they think the play is, all the while drinking cheap zinfandel and eating cubes of cheese. Nobody ever looks at the paintings. Well no, that's not exactly true. They look at the paintings but never actually see them. There's a routine to it. You have to take just enough time away from the canapes to move around the room and view the artwork, betraying as little reaction as possible. The idea is to be seen looking at the paintings so that nobody thinks you're just there as a freeloader, and to spend just the right amount of time at each work in case the artist notices you (and he surely will, since there's never more than one or two people looking at paintings at a time). Too little time and he'll think you're not serious, too much time and he's going to peg you for a potential buyer. The worst thing is if the artist actually asks you what you think. My standard answer: "You've never done better."
posted by John M Crowther @ 7:41 AM
6 Comments:
God, I hate openings with a passion. I always feel as if someone has stripped me nude, rubbed me down with sandpaper and pushed me out into the crowd. I usually pretend to be one of the viewers, acknowledging that I am the artist only when absolutely sure that I can not get away with the lie, says she with huge sigh.
In my opinion, said she with a grin, the composition of this cartoon is darn near perfect, if not completely perfect. Has great flow to it.
HA HA HA HA!!!! That is GREAT!
:) :) :)
Reminds me of the short period in my life when I hustled the New York galleries with my paintings and prints. Many new owners were astounded that the markup on art was astronomical in comparison to their old businesses, much better than selling rugs. New artists would almost give away their work for the promise of a show. Point me toward that free wine and cheese!
John! How could you?! My Pittsburgh show opens with a reception on January19.wonderful! roger
Congratulations, Roger! Give me the details so I can post them here. You never know but what someone from Pittsburgh is looking in on us.
As I live in the heart of SoHo I am happy to report that are a number of freeloaders who have been going to openings for so many decades that no show would be considered serious unless they showed up uninvited. It's true that in the old days there was more to be had here than a cheap bottle of ersatz Merlot, but today as beggers can not be choosers they're happy to get what they can get. No one expects them to comment on the art, let alone look at it, they just have to be there like background extras in the movies who don't talk. Remove the schnoorers and there would be no art scene.
Post a Comment
<< Home