The Cutting Edge
A couple of years ago I hit technology burnout, and I haven't recovered. Way back "in the day" I was one of the first people I knew using a computer. When I first learned about a new thing called "word procecessing" I figured it was for me, and I raced out to a computer store. The acne-scarred geek kid behind the counter stared at me with total disdain when I asked to see a word processor and finally answered me with a sneer. "There's no such thing." When I persisted, he intoned, voice dripping with contempt, "oh, you mean a computer with a word processing program." I learned Wordstar that afternoon, and for several years kept up with progress as I went through ten computers. My friends considered me a techie. Eventually I worked my way up to one of the first Mac X's with Final Cut Pro for film editing, and got pretty good at it. But the obsession with staying on top of the monthly updates finally wore me down. It seemed like I had become far more occupied with technology than creativity, and I crashed and burned, got rid of the Mac, and became stupid overnight. Nowadays I will not watch a TV program except when it's actually being broadcast, so getting a Tivo is out of the question. So is using the speed-dialer on my cellphone.
posted by John M Crowther @ 7:07 AM
5 Comments:
John,
I can well understand your burnout, but as time and technology waits for no man or woman, I suggest a few months rest this spring before preparing for all the new must-have mechanical innovations bound to be coming onto the market this fall. How can you live without them?
I had a similar crisis this winter when the text messaging function on my cell phone started printing out whole words and strange symbols instead of good old English sentences like ”are u ok? c u @ 2”
The best therapy for this condition of technological withdrawal was to purchase a simple mechanical device like a plastic toothpaste squeezer.
I inserted the end of the tube in a slot and then began to curl the little handle slowly until the paste issued forth. Learning how to use such a handy device (bound to save me hundreds of dollars in my lifetime) restored my mechanical confidence, and before I knew it I was back on my feet programming a Tivo to record all the episodes of “Gilligan’s Island.”
I must try one of those toothpaste thingies, prof. Perhaps it could go a long way toward restoring my confidence. On the other hand, when you try to assemble an outdoor grill with instructions translated from the Japanese ("pleas to make tab A directly toward underwear slot"), like I did, and discover you've put together a hot air balloon that won't leave the ground, it's terribly demoralizing.
John,
As I had to buy a good number of these handy plastic toothpaste squeezers in bulk in the middle of the night at an E-Bay auction, I would be happy to send you one to your current Pacific address. Knowing your present condition, however, I would suggest going at this therapy slowly: first push the bottom of the paste tube into the slot, wait for the next full moon, then bit by bit turn the handle until you feel some pressure building up –-not too much, of course, as an over-wrenched squeezer can cause the paste to ejaculate. Then nap or do TM. Next, cautiously turn the plastic cap in a clockwise direction until it opens. If paste comes out, I would suggest attempting to attach the tripod legs to the bottom of the BBQ. The last man known to do that won the Nobel Prize.
hahahahahahaha.....
Whoa, prof, that's way more technical than I can possibly handle. Is there someone at tech support in Bengladesh who can walk me through it on the phone?
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