Tis the Season To Give Gadgets
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If it weren't for Christmas half of the $19.95 gimmickery offered up by stores and infomercials would disappear. Nobody actually buys that stuff for themselves, but it all makes irresistible choices for the person who doesn't come close to having everything but is so set in their ways you've got no idea what to get for them. My pick for all-time worst gadget gift would be the nose hair trimmer. Imagine actually giving that thing to someone. Aside from being disgusting, what does it say about the givee? You might as well present them with a year's supply of Desenex. While I'm on the subject, the term informercial makes me laugh. An entire hour given over to selling you some piece of crap with a set of Japanese knives thrown in, and you're supposed to believe there's an educational aspect to it. What was that noise I just heard? Must be the wailing of another newborn sucker.
My thanks to il professore for his update of Jerome Kern. "Nowhere could you get that happy feeling/ When you are stealing/ Another's show." Brilliant!
posted by John M Crowther @ 6:11 AM
8 Comments:
In your dismissal of the nose hair clipper as the perfect Christmas gift for the man or woman who has everything, you are cleverly ignoring one of its essential marketing claims: i.e. that indiscriminate plucking, picking or otherwise of nose hairs without a proper instrument may be the cause of death. Cigarette manufacturers can only claim that tobacco may be injurious to your health, but hawkers of nose-clippers have always insisted that one false move inside the nose cavity is an instant call to the Reaper. I have never understood what severe damage one might do unless you were to shove a thumb up inside the brain, but medical science seems to think otherwise. What better gift then to one’s significant other than the gift that keeps giving … the gift of life.
Il professore, it is a privilege and an honor to read your comments. Love them and they, along with John C. cartoons make me laugh out loud. I envy the quick repartee of both of you. Until now, I have lived in ignorance of nose clippers, etc., much less the knowledge that they save lives. At this point, I have reach no conclusion as to whether this has enhanced my life or if I should be grateful for the enlightenment. The whole subject seems to be a bit overwhelming.
P.S. Please do not feel either of you as if you should send me a gift. I will be more than satisfied with a gentle Merry Christmas.
Alas, the lowly nose hair clipper cannot save lives, as can a scalpel, say, or the arsenals of weapons that save lives by threatening lives. The NHC, as it shall be known, is an insidious little thing that, as il prof points out, is rumored to be potentially lethal while pursuing its usually cosmetic function. On the other hand, I suppose one can imagine a situation in which a particularly hirsute proboscis becomes so clogged that breathing is impaired, in which case, perhaps, the NHC might be a lifesaver.
Lee, would Jolly Kwaanza suffice?
John C, but of course!
Ah! The nose hair clipper! I have seen only one and it was given by a daughter to her mother for Christmas. The mother was thrilled and loved it and showed it off to everyone. There must be some people who need it.....she did.
Katherine
John, I love the cartoon. It is one of my favorites. There have been many times I would have loved to have had one of those clappers to rid my home of visitors, my ex-spouses, etc.
Katherine
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