The Big Bite

One the worst phenomena of our culture is so-called fine dining. To me it's torture. I once had lunch in what passed for a posh restaurant in Bridgeport, Connecticut. I was nicely dressed but without the requisite jacket so they loaned me something to put on. It was a busboy coat. Another time I was with some rich folks in a very snooty French restaurant in Manhattan. I was the height of fashion, wearing expensive shoes, an elegant jacket and slacks with a turtleneck sweater, but no tie, a gross violation of the dress code. They loaned me a tie. To tie on over the turtleneck! I looked like a friggin' clown, for God's sake. You'd think in both cases management would have been embarrassed to have someone in their place looking that ridiculous, but no. Rules trumped good sense and quality.

When eating in an upscale place/ You rarely pay for decent food,/ But rather for a slower pace/ And large amounts of attitude.