It's Lonely at the Top

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I have it on good authority that Michael Phelps didn't really win eight gold medals. In fact, he may not have won any. Well okay, he might have won three or four, like a normal person, but for the rest the fix was in. It was all a plot by the IOC and NBC to increase ratings. There was some internal discussion about whether it was better drama to have him take the all-time record or just to tie Mark Spitz's old record. They asked Spitz to pony up fifteen million dollars to keep his record intact but he refused, and so in the end Phelps got to, as they say, "make history." That's why such an air of inevitability hung over the whole thing. And regarding the assassination of Lincoln, a guy in the orchestra, third row center did it.