Did William Goldman Start This Way?

Welcome to L.A., where every valet parking jock has a screenplay to peddle. And many of them have plunked down their bucks for a seminar with a screenwriting guru who never wrote a successful screenplay himself. None of the gurus teach classes, of course, because that would require them to read something. Just three day seminars where they dispense with the “secrets,” heavy-duty stuff like, “put the first act break on page 27.” Movie executives take the seminars too, so they can sound like they know what they’re doing. And you wondered why movies are so lame nowadays (except for “Borat,” the funniest laugh-‘til-you-hurt grossly disgusting movie ever made).