See Food

"Avoid fried meats, which angry the blood." Leroy (Satchel) Paige quoted in Collier's Magazine, June 13, 1953.

Ouch!

Teddy Roosevelt is hailed as an environmentalist in Ken Burns' new documentary on the National Park System, now airing on PBS stations. Roosevelt was afraid the buffalo would become extinct.... before he had an opportunity to shoot one.

The Food of Life

"Hell is full of musical amateurs. Music is the brandy of the damned." George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, 1903. And on that note, in England the dictionary definition of my name, Crowther, is "an inept or rascally fiddle player." Guilty on both counts.

Spare the Rod

"I have a problem," said the patient. "I keep having this dream that I'm fabulously wealthy, with a gorgeous wife, a huge yacht, my own private jet, and a waterfront mansion in Palm Beach." "So what's the problem?" the therapist asked. "I keep waking up."

A Stirring Story

My favorite ever recipe direction came from my wife's Tuscan grandmother, whose instructions for a certain dish included "a mouthful of milk." She didn't mean it literally, of course, but she couldn't have been clearer.

Follow the Bouncing Checks

Seven, count 'em, seven California state senators will be winging it to Denmark and Spain in coming days to study "how they govern." Huh? I thought that's what we had schools for. What were these bozos doing back when their classmates were in Civics 101? They could at least save the state some money if they'd go to Vegas to study how Nevada governs. Better still, why don't they just check out Wikipedia?

Go Figure!

There are probably as many how-to books about art as about cooking, but here's a new twist altogether, Andrew Cahner's book about how to be a nude model, The Art Model's Handbook. One would think there's not much to it, just strip and hold still, but anyone who's spent countless hours drawing nude models knows different. It's hard work, folks, "doing nothing."

The Breast Is Yet to Come

Why is it that we refer to "Mother" Nature and "Father" Time? Perhaps because Mother always knows best and Time flies.

The Write Stuff

One of my favorite Hollywood memories is of the ABC-TV vice-president who, while giving me notes on my teleplay for a Movie-of-the-Week biography of Chicago's notorious late Mayor Richard J. Daley, admonished me to keep in mind that "we don't want this to be a political story." I nodded and solemnly agreed, and then went right ahead and wrote a political story. It couldn't be otherwise.

What Would Ma Bell Think?

My telephone is just a telephone. It doesn't shoot video, connect me to the Internet, or locate the nearest deli. I admit, though, to having an iPod, but I only use it for "painting," utilizing the killer app "Brushes," which is how last week's New Yorker cover was created. I put some music on it, but have yet to listen to it. And I have another admission. I've started to twitter. Just think, if I'd said that even ten years ago it would've been cause for alarm.

Bunny Bugs

"....is there any greater or keener pleasure than physical love? No, nor any which is more unreasonable." Plato, The Republic, 6th century B.C.

Yesterday's cartoon, You Lie, is now available on a t-shirt.

The Hole Truth

As California's unemployment numbers hit the highest they've been since the 20's "crash," pundits and anchor whores, encouraged by the networks who hire them, which are owned by corporate America, which has a stake in consumers getting their "confidence" back, are crowing that the economy is turning around, as evidenced by the fact that "things are finally getting worse slower." Gotta love it!

Birds of a Feather

"Nature isn't perfect," said the biologist, "which is why cosmetics were invented. "Wrong." said his wife, "it's why nature gave us darkness."

The Crock of Gibralter

I've always been fascinated by the whole insurance scam, especially life insurance, that insiduous midway shell game where you make a bet with the insurance company that you're going to croak lot sooner than they're betting you will.

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It's How You Play the Game

Totally off the subject, but I'm frustrated by the habit of most magazines to eschew page numbers. All too often I encounter a story "continued" on page number so and so (another pet peeve) and then must frantically search for the remainder of the article.

www.Zazzle.com/jcrowtherart

Where Am !?

One little kid says to another he can prove that the other isn't "really here." "Can not," the other says. "Are you in Hong Kong?" the first asks.
"No."
"India?"
No.
"Mexico City?'
No.
"If you're not in Hong Kong, India, or Mexico City then you must be somewhere else, right?"
"Right."
"Well, if you're somewhere else then you're not here."
Ba Da Boom.

Check out my redesigned website at http://jcrowtherart.com. No www for now, though I'd prefer it were there. Must sort this out with the good people at GoDaddy.com.

Three's a Crowd

More craziness from the wonderful world of politics and economics. Word is out that lawmakers are reluctant to follow-through on increased oversight of financial institutions, lest it have a negative impact on the recovery they claim is now underway. In other words, now that the car with the broken engine is running downhill so well, let's not screw around with it.

www.Zazzle.com/jcrowtherart

Organ Transplant

In working with young actors I frequently encounter those whose performance fails to rise to the level of emotion required by the scene. "You're supposed to be angry," I'll tell them, "but I don't see it." "But," they respond testily, indoctrinated as they are by what they believe are the teachings of Stanislavski, "I'm feeling angry." I like to tell them that I am the greatest interpreter of Mahler in the world -- in my head -- but nobody will ever know since I can't play a note on the piano.

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A Ghost of a Chance

I believe in ghosts. It's because I saw one. Well, I didn't actually see it, but my dog did. It was the middle of the night, in a new apartment, and my dog was restless. Suddenly he jerked his head toward the windows and followed something with his gaze across the room to the door, which then swung shut by itself. From that day on he was terrified of being left alone in that apartment, and if he was would scratch his paws bloody attempting to escape. Ghosts exist.

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Thinking Back, Looking Ahead

I offer today's post in memory of my beloved nephew, Welles Remy Crowther, who died heroically in the attack on the World Trade Center, Sept. 11, 2001.

Out of the Minds of Babes

Schadenfreud is alive and well in the land as another "family values" conservative bites the dust. This one's a California legislator, a fearless advocate for the "sanctity of marriage," who got caught on tape boasting to a fellow legislator about his sexual athletics with a much younger lobbyist and a friend of hers. He even admits to a new-found interest in spanking. On the other side of the aisle, of course, we do have John Edwards, the poster boy for rich white trash.

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Oldie But Goodie

An L.A. Times front page headline this morning reported that individual debt is way down, which, they say somewhat ominously, is slowing economic recovery. In other words, people aren't getting themselves deep in a hole to buy the big box items that corporate America wants to push down our throats. Do we need any more evidence we live in dysfunctional times?

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Drink Up

Big spat going on in my neighborhood. A local watering hole wants to open at 9 in the morning and is seeking to extend its liquor license. A group of folks is up in arms, convinced that the streets will be filled with drunks. They've managed to ignore the fact that there are two convenience stores within a few yards of the pub, both selling cheap-ass booze. And never mind that the streets aren't filled with drunks after noon, when the place now opens. People are seriously weird.

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